Happy V-Day!!!

"Hard to know what's in your heart so, you're just looking to find. Part of what you're saying's not effecting on my soul or my mind."

These words are from one of my favorite songs from reggie and the full effect. If one were to follow this band they would see the ups and downs of emotions that come as a result of life and relationships. Needless to say this is that day of the year where everyone buys useless and meaningless shit for one another. It's a day that many forget the martyrdom that was performed by saint valentine. The man was tortured fighting in the name of his religion and for this we celebrate, have some chocolate. Then again we do this for Easter as well. Man is crucified, here's some chocolate and some plastic grass. 

This year I seem to be more bitter, more jaded, more I don't give a shit really. I didn't always used to be this way. I really didn't. I used to take care of the person I made my valentine. Flowers, getaways with fancy dinners, jewelry, all kinda of other happy horse shit. But this year there's none of that. I simply don't care.

I think part of it is because last year I gave everything I had to someone and they left me a few days later. I can't say it was a surprise. I could tell the wheels were falling off the cart. It is just a shitty feeling when you know the person you are in love with is slowly leaving you for another person. But you soldier on and keep up the game face. You don't want those around you to know how bad it is. And you certainly don't want the person who left you to know how it felt. That would be crazy talk. 

But I've soldiered on and I'm ready to move forward. Get back I'm the game coach. Despite wearing shoulder pads that don't fit and a helmet two sizes too big. It's that same feeling you get on your very first football practice as you see the largest player on your team running at you like a freight train engineered by a crystal meth tweaker. You feel you lack protection and that you are out in a world where nobody has your back when the excrement strikes the oscillator. (For those who are slow that means: "when the shit hits the fan"). 

The dating world is a scary place, Especially for guys. Everyone thinks it's such a simple task to just walk up to a woman and ask them out. Nooooooot at all my friend. You have one shot to make not only an outstanding impression that will separate you from every other douche in the bar, but leave a mark that will not land you in the dreaded, and in my opinion the only place comparable to the dmv, the friend zone.

For those who don't know about the friend zone, chances are you are in it. A gal will tell you everything like a boyfriend and turn to you for advice. This is only to constantly remind you that your like the best friend ever. They often don't know that they would do without you, and treat you as if you are one of the girlfriends. I know what they could do, they can go find someone else for that shit. Are there any benefits to this you may ask? No there isn't. Sadly it's just a shitty place to be. It's a lifetime of mixed signals until you wake up and say enough. 

So we go back to our dilemma of meeting a new person. Don't get me wrong it takes a lot for a woman to agree to talk to a person they just meet. Statistically a new person is probably a murderer or a rapist. So men already start the game with a strikes against them. 

What are we supposed to do now ya moron?  You could turn to the internet but that's a scary place to because anyone can be anyone on there. Between the show catfish and hearing others horror stories of people meeting people of the same sex, doesn't exactly help with taking that risk either. So where does this leave you? It leaves you in a place where you get to learn from your mistakes. Learning from our mistakes is the best way to learn. You experience first hand how difficult making it work really is. 

I can't help but wish to see these relationships that are jammed down your throat on Facebook end in a fiery crash. I know that I sound bitter with my ranting but it's my blog, so the rest of you can piss off. The mushy memes and the pic stitches really makes me want to bludgeon myself to death with a large piece of ice. All the I love you's and we are meant to be together memes are absolutely nauseating. Now this isn't because I was heartbroken or that I'm tremendously jaded. This is the part of me that enjoys watching people be miserable. The same part of me that enjoys watching someone blow an entire paycheck at the racetrack. It's nothing personal, I just have accepted that this is how the world works, and that bad things will always happen to good people. 

I love nothing more than also seeing valentines dates go down the shitter. Seeing pissed off people at the bar, dressed to the nines, and drowning their sorrows in their lukewarm beer. Deep in a text conversation with that guy that's in the friend-zone. Ahh the back to the friend-zone. Poor bastard. 

So here's to valentines day, and to those who are will have survived this day stronger than yesterday. Cheers.