A plumber, a landscaper, and an EMT walk into a bar...

Those who know me, know that I I take my jobs very seriously. I know the difference when it is time to play and time to be serious. I know when to crack a joke to cut the tension and when to stand my ground. This is something that many people don't know. I get upset when I am viewed poorly in the eyes of my managers because I understand that it is my reputation in the line. 

Lately I seem to be I the wrong place at the wrong time. I have become the patron EMT of unruly patients. Not to that this isn't happening to my colleagues as well but I have been a total shit magnet lately. I haven't been going out of my way to start issues with people or patients. I've been courteous and empathetic. Everyone has those patients that are uncooperative or the ones that have crazy requests. Lately I have been getting the young adult on then 4th floor who needs to be carried out of the house because their shoulder hurts. Then they don't want to sit still while being carried, causing my partner and I to get hurt in the process of trying to satisfy the patient or as I refer to them customers. 

The reason I refer to them as customers is because they are people calling for a service. The same way that  one would call roto-rooter or a landscaper. That's right, I believe that my job is no more important than a plumber or a landscaper. In the grand scheme of it, I think that they may have it better. 

Take the plumber for instance. A plumber wakes up every morning and realizes that he is probably going to have to deal with shit. Everyday he will more than likely deal with shit. But the plumber makes a great deal of money for his skill as a plumber. And that plumber knows that when he lays his head down at night, and when he wakes up, he will deal with shit. Maybe more than today, maybe less, but he cannot escape the shit. 

In the case of the landscaper, they are artists of nature. They have the ability to take a jungle of a yard and turn it into a beautiful land. However, the landscaper is going to have to spread a great deal of bull shit in order to make that yard grow. 

Now in the case of ems, we get to be treated like shit. Spit on, kicked, punched, and assaulted. Police and fire are protected by laws where this is assumed to be a hazard of a healthcare workers job. Pretty fucked up right? Makes cleaning shitty pipes look like a vacation. 

We get patients who call and feel that you are their personal servants, and will actually file complaints about you when you don't spend your time feeding their cat. They will then yell at you for doing it wrong. It's the parts of public service where people feel that you are there to wait on their every need that just makes me want to sand boats for a living. Then if you don't fulfill their wildest requests, they make complaints. Then you as the employee get reprimanded for not doing your job when It was something that your not required to do. 

It's a sad reality that was brought up best in "office space". Now granted the movie was about working in an office, but it relates to almost every job out there. For example, similar to office space, I have 9 bosses. That means when I screw up, I have to hear about it 9 times. 

After a while of getting beaten down you eventually hit your limit and stop trying to work hard or go the extra mile. You just do the minimal amount of work to keep you from getting reprimanded. As an employee I have always felt that you should make yourself valuable so that you will be an asset to your company. Where now It's become obvious that you are easily replaceable and that they can hire any shlub to do your job. That's a sad reality but a reality non the less. 

This does nothing but breed a force of people only willing to do the bare minimum. Why should work hard, when you're just going to be beaten down? This is a sad reality because I know so many brilliant minds that can offer so many great things to the world, and they have been discouraged to the point that they couldn't care less. 

It suddenly turns us all into Dante and Randall's. People who go through the motions, work at their respective counters, and go home. No passion, no caring, because it's only going to bite you in the ass. Why should I offer up my good ideas so my boss can take the credit, and I'll get burned? 

Back in 2007, while attending fire school I was given a bit of advice that sticks with me everyday. This line of work is filled with two types of people. Heroes and assholes. 

Now when the instructor told us this the class laughed thinking that there's no way that's how it works. Here we are thinking that we have it all figured out. But he was absolutely right in what he said. He said the people that are covered in citation bars are the the dumb ones. These are the people who disregarded their own safety for the sake of someone else. That's all well and good and you dodged a bullet on that one. 

But the heroes that we are talking about are not necessarily those that save the bus of orphans but the people that happen to be in the right place at the righty time. They get their quick fame and they feel good. People congratulate them and they feel good. They get a high, they get their name or maybe their picture in the paper. And that's your 15 minutes of fame. They are the ones who went out of their way and received their special award or they happened to be at the right time. 

On the other side of the coin is the asshole. The person who fucks up or ruins it for everyone else. The guy who accidentally runs over a stairchair the same night he has his hero moment of delivering a baby. 

The world is full of heroes and assholes. Sadly you have have 100 heroic moments, but that one asshole moment, is the one you will always be remembered by. 

The bribe....

As I write this I am crammed in the backseat of a Honda accord coupe. I have learned one fact. There is nobody that can comfortably fit in the backseat of a honda accord coupe. Every attempt I have had thus far of exiting this vehicle looks similar to that of a play-doh fun factory. 

It was quite a weekend. I chose to embark on a trip to Washington, D.C. In an effort to escape the everyday stress. Boy was that a trip. Ended up playing the odd man out being that I was mixed with a group of close friends and I was extra wheel. Not to be out down. I was able to tie one on and make a trip for myself. 

As much as I hate giving other people credit, and the last person I hate giving credit to is my partner Greg Gill, I'm afraid I must. The other evening, a rather intellectual conversation transporting in the cab of our bus. 

Society as a whole is doomed and it's sad. People are afraid to make relationships, and parents are afraid to let kids outside. As I was walking through Alexandria earlier today, I witnessed a woman attempting to coerce her son to get in his strolled with the promise of getting to play with the iphone. If your kid is isn't out if a stroller they should have no knowledge of what an iphone is. None the less what it is capable of doing. For some reason I found this very disgusting. 

I know that it's not okay to hit your kids and that's all well and good. That's part of why kids are such little assholes.  I can proudly say that my dad used to beat the living piss out of me if i fucked up. And they hurt. They were meant to. And his dad would crack him one upside the head if he fucked up too. Now I'm sure some hippy liberal parents who let their kids call the shots are saying that this was really wrong of my dad. Fear not, my mother was normally waiting by the ropes for her turn to be tagged in. 

The point of this is that it made me a disciplined person. If I mouthed off I wasn't sent to "think" about what I did. I was raised to say please and thank you. I was raised to get in the car, put your seatbelt on and shut the fuck up. I was raised to speak when spoken to, and to appreciate what you have. Or else! 

As a matter of fact I learned at a very young age to appreciate everything I was given as a young lad who decided that he no longer needed his dad anymore. I couldn't be any older then 5ish. My father called my bluff and said that's fine, you can leave my house now. As I was leaving he told me that the clothes on my back were his, not mine, I Didn't pay for those. He did. So my stubborn ass stripped down to my underwear and hit the road. And I stood on that porch on Hoboken road, during a cold winter day. It wasn't until my mom yelled for fear of being reported to the police I was let back in the house. From that point on I never saw a reason to bitch and moan about the things that I have. 

Now I know that parenting is a give and take thing. I'm aware that parents need to choose there battles and almost all kids are small germ factories/ terrors. Their hands are always sticky with something and they love to share. But I don't think that it's that hard difficult to use a phone as a means of bribing a kid. What happened to the days of a handful of Cheerios being a good enough incentive to behave? 

To those parents who raise their parents the old fashioned way I salute you. You let your kids cry it out, and you tell them no. You realize that parenting is a dictatorship and not a democracy. You are a dying breed but keep up the good work. The future depends on it.