The bribe....

As I write this I am crammed in the backseat of a Honda accord coupe. I have learned one fact. There is nobody that can comfortably fit in the backseat of a honda accord coupe. Every attempt I have had thus far of exiting this vehicle looks similar to that of a play-doh fun factory. 

It was quite a weekend. I chose to embark on a trip to Washington, D.C. In an effort to escape the everyday stress. Boy was that a trip. Ended up playing the odd man out being that I was mixed with a group of close friends and I was extra wheel. Not to be out down. I was able to tie one on and make a trip for myself. 

As much as I hate giving other people credit, and the last person I hate giving credit to is my partner Greg Gill, I'm afraid I must. The other evening, a rather intellectual conversation transporting in the cab of our bus. 

Society as a whole is doomed and it's sad. People are afraid to make relationships, and parents are afraid to let kids outside. As I was walking through Alexandria earlier today, I witnessed a woman attempting to coerce her son to get in his strolled with the promise of getting to play with the iphone. If your kid is isn't out if a stroller they should have no knowledge of what an iphone is. None the less what it is capable of doing. For some reason I found this very disgusting. 

I know that it's not okay to hit your kids and that's all well and good. That's part of why kids are such little assholes.  I can proudly say that my dad used to beat the living piss out of me if i fucked up. And they hurt. They were meant to. And his dad would crack him one upside the head if he fucked up too. Now I'm sure some hippy liberal parents who let their kids call the shots are saying that this was really wrong of my dad. Fear not, my mother was normally waiting by the ropes for her turn to be tagged in. 

The point of this is that it made me a disciplined person. If I mouthed off I wasn't sent to "think" about what I did. I was raised to say please and thank you. I was raised to get in the car, put your seatbelt on and shut the fuck up. I was raised to speak when spoken to, and to appreciate what you have. Or else! 

As a matter of fact I learned at a very young age to appreciate everything I was given as a young lad who decided that he no longer needed his dad anymore. I couldn't be any older then 5ish. My father called my bluff and said that's fine, you can leave my house now. As I was leaving he told me that the clothes on my back were his, not mine, I Didn't pay for those. He did. So my stubborn ass stripped down to my underwear and hit the road. And I stood on that porch on Hoboken road, during a cold winter day. It wasn't until my mom yelled for fear of being reported to the police I was let back in the house. From that point on I never saw a reason to bitch and moan about the things that I have. 

Now I know that parenting is a give and take thing. I'm aware that parents need to choose there battles and almost all kids are small germ factories/ terrors. Their hands are always sticky with something and they love to share. But I don't think that it's that hard difficult to use a phone as a means of bribing a kid. What happened to the days of a handful of Cheerios being a good enough incentive to behave? 

To those parents who raise their parents the old fashioned way I salute you. You let your kids cry it out, and you tell them no. You realize that parenting is a dictatorship and not a democracy. You are a dying breed but keep up the good work. The future depends on it.