The answer to this is that work gives you a place of refuge. Similar to fishing or sailing for other people, where one can focus all of their attention on what they are doing. It gives them thing that requires so much effort, they don't have any time to think about anything else. This is the same phenomenon.
Over the last few years I have noticed that my relationships with family and girlfriends have all taken severe nosedives. In an effort to avoid any hostility or confrontation, I would simply pick up an open shift at work. Why? Because it gives me the ability to get my mind off of things and it gives the other party time away from me. A fair balance right? I thought so. The less you'd have to deal with me the better.
The only issue with this mindset is that It doesn't make anything better. It's a temporary fix. This is a band aid, a patch kit, a cover up. Once work is over, you know the argument is waiting for you. So what can you do now. You thought you had it all figured out... Why didn't it work?
Because although it may get you out of the problem temporarily, more often than not, it's still going to be there when you get out. At the same time where you feel that you may be escaping the issue, you may be just making things worse for yourself at the same time. You may be tied up on that call and you're unable to say that thing you had to get off your chest. Not to say that you wouldn't necessarily have missed out on the opportunity otherwise, but it is a factor.
I myself have 4-5 jobs at any given moment. I have one full time and 3-4 per diem jobs. Why is this? My answer is simple. I cannot sit idle. I have to be doing something. I need to keep moving. I would rather work around the clock than sit around and wonder "what if?" Don't get me wrong. I enjoy my time off, especially when I have plans made. We all do. It's when plans fall through or I have no plans at all where I feel like I am just wasting time. It's the fear of the unknown and not being able to adapt to change. Instead of sitting on the couch I could be making money.
As for having time for fun? Ha! There is no fun for those that don't earn it. There is nothing that irks me greater than seeing people that barely work, and then bitch and moan about how they NEED a vacation. How they can barely survive their 18 hour a week job without needing a get away. The sad reality is that these people aren't escaping their stress. They are trying to escape the sad reality that their life has become. In my opinion(and that's why I started a blog), vacations should be earned. Those who break their asses deserve vacations or rewards. Those who sit and bitch about how it's hard to hold down a job for more than a month have absolutely no business near an airport of cruise ship.
Granted I have my own reasons that have sculpted me into the work-a-holic that I am today. I refused to be backed into a corner and not have a way out. I can successfully, and can proudly admit, I have been able to keep my head above the water thus far. Although it is not easy in any way at all, I am doing. I often joke about the how I have to pay for the mistake I made called college. Student loans are a crippling but sad reality. It all comes full circle when you realize you pay more a month in student loans a month than you do for your rent or car payment. But I'm here and I'm alive. I am tired, beaten, broken down, and defeated...but I'm alive.
But this is not a forever thing. This is temporary or so they say it is. In the meantime I will continue to work all of my jobs and make ends meet. Until the phone rings with that new job where I won't have to work so much.
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